Why do you, random stranger, feel the need to comment on my body? Am I overweight? Sure am. Do I look like I could perhaps be harboring a small fugitive inside the roundness of my belly? Absolutely. But who are you to ask and quite frankly, why do you care?
My favorite and standard response to the question is, "No, I'm just fat." That always makes people squirm a little and start drowning in the stupidity and audacity of their question. Sometimes, like a few weeks ago, people try to dig themselves out only to make it worse by asking an even more terrible question like, "Oh, well did you just have a baby?" As if having just had a baby would make it, by your standards, ok that I'm fat.
Why is it ok for anyone to comment on someone's body? Not to play the gender card, but I'm totally going to - women's bodies are always such open targets for chatter. I never hear people outwardly judging or talking about a fat man, but if a fat woman is walking by all of a sudden it's "OMG, please don't ever let me get fat like that" or "Wow she'd be so pretty if she lost weight." Does anyone ever say some guy would be hot if he was skinny? Does the fat guy even get a second glance much the same way a woman does? Better yet, does the "hot" guy get cat-called and harassed like an attractive woman does? I'm sure on the rare occasion, yes, but for the most part I'm going to give that a resounding no. I've seen women, friends of mine even, harassed about being overweight in public and left feeling less-than, as if her body was something to be ashamed of...and quite frankly, it's disgusting and sad.
Even outside of the fat and skinny debate, people have such issues with the female body, like it should be covered and hidden away in secret. Take school dress codes for example. Girls aren't allowed to wear certain things so as not to "distract" the boys. Maybe the boys should learn a thing or two about getting their priorities straight and stop gawking at others. Moms are harassed about breastfeeding in public because, gasp, oh no - a breast! We shouldn't have to hide our bodies or feel bad about our bodies because other people feel the need to stare or have an opinion.
My body is my biggest insecurity and yet, my body isn't me, it's just the thing I happen to inhabit. I have spent an immeasurable amount of time fixating on, crying over, and trying to change my body. I can say with certainty that most, if not all of, my self-hatred stems from my poor body image. Is most of it in my head? I suppose so, but a lot of it comes from others. Others making comments, others asking questions, others just taking my body and trying to make it their own. Suggestions on ways to eat, how to work out, special diets, while all in theory trying to be well-meaning, but simply adding to the problem. I realize I am allowing myself to let others get me down, but not allowing it is easier said than done. After a while it starts to eat at you and builds you into this person that lives to tear yourself down. Who am I outside of my body-shaming and self-loathing? Not entirely sure to be honest.
The female body is a beautiful thing, whether you wear a size 2 or 22, but keep your comments, thoughts, questions, and criticisms to yourself. Whatever is going on with someone's body - whether a pregnancy, weight gain, weight loss, sickness, whatever - is none of your (random stranger) business. Worry about yourself people, or better yet, find something better to think about all together than a body, whether someone else's or your own.
This turned into way more of a soapbox than I intended to in one post, but the words just came so I went with it.
...and on that note, I think it's time to officially put this blog to rest. I realize if I don't want people to comment on my body in real life, I probably shouldn't be putting it all out here for the world to comment on as well. This blog started as just a place to write and evolved into a place to document weight loss and fitness after I had my son. The comments and encouragement I got really helped to lift my spirits along the way, but in reality I probably fed off of any praise I got a little too much and that's not necessarily a good thing for me. I met many awesome bloggers that are now friends along the way, and for that I'm grateful. I still love blogging and will continue writing and may even one day start up another blog, but it's time to say goodnight to this one. Wishing everyone the best of luck on their journey, whatever it may be.